• I don’t know if I momentarily forgot that I lived in Texas, or momentarily didn’t give a fuck, but I decided to walk through the yard with no shoes on. Damn chiggers. I will not be walking anywhere here outside barefoot ever again. Ever.
• If you’re gonna call me up to talk shit, cry when I yell at you, and then tell me how you feel using Yellowcard lyrics hoping I won’t notice, Don’t. Because I will laugh at you. And I will laugh at you every time I hear that song for the rest of my life.
• There’s a line in a song by The Wonder Years that says ‘growing up means watching my heroes turn human in front of me’, and everyone says that in a negative way, but you know, it’s not really that bad. It actually makes me feel better knowing that my heroes are just normal people that aren’t that much different than I am.
• I STILL can’t get over the whole fried stick of butter thing. Honestly though, who eats that???

My purchase of the day.

I wanted the original cover of Perks, but they didn’t have that one. This one has Logan Lerman’s face on it though, so that’s cool. Except I can’t read it yet until I’m done with Eat Pray Love, which I started a couple days ago. Now I have to finish what I’ve started.

Also, Don’t Panic is awesome. I LOVE it. If you haven’t picked it up yet, I highly recommend that you do so.

My life is so uninteresting right now.

BYE.

Thinking about this day makes me all emotional, I need to express my feels.

This day pretty much changed my life. If I hadn’t gone to that show, my life would be completely different. I met a couple of good friends that night, and it’s the day Becca and I became best friends. It was Becca’s first show, and one of the most fun I’ve ever been to. To be honest, I was expecting them to suck, but they were AMAZING.

The shenanigans afterward were crazy, and hilarious. And thus, this .gif was born:

(I see it on Tumblr all the time, and it makes me so happy. But it was so much more awkward looking in person.) By the end, most everyone involved was covered in shaving cream and various food/drink items. Axe was also involved, and at some point, it ended up in my eyes.

Earlier that year, I had been dealing with a lot of self-esteem issues. I thought that I was absolutely hideous. That night, I saw the most beautiful boy i had ever seen in my life (Seriously though, the first time I saw him I was stunned at how gorgeous he was, and I could not believe that it was even possible to be that ridiculously good looking. I’m pretty sure my jaw dropped), and he asked if we had met before. I told him no, and he told me that he must have met me in his dreams. Then super awkward flirting commenced, and people were like “OOOOOOOOHH!!!!”. Then later we were taking a picture, and he held me weirdly close. At the time it was weird, but now I miss it. Anyway, the point is that since this little incident, I have been so much more confident and haven’t felt at all ugly (except for when I had that rash on my face. That was disgusting, and painful, and I cried). I owe this boy a lot.

After Becca and I attended that show, it was the beginning of a ton of adventures I’ve had, and crazy amazing life-changing events. If I hadn’t gone to that show, I would never have gone to LA for another show of theirs. That entire day was INSANE, and I wouldn’t re-live it for a million dollars, (This happened and we got lost and our tire rolled down the street and I thought we were gonna die:)

but I also wouldn’t give it up either. I have met so many amazing people, and have so many amazing experiences, and it would take forever to explain everything, but in the long run, if I had never gone to that show, I most likely would never have made the decision to move to Texas.

Despite how much I hate living in Texas, so many incredible things have happened to me since I’ve been here. I would never have talked to Jon/Eric, I would never have talked to Molly at South By, I would have never seen Blink-182 (I cried during Always. No shame), I would never have done that stupid thing I did in San Antonio, I would never have hung out side stage at show laughing and joking with my hero, which sounds stupid but it was one of the most amazing moments of my entire nineteen years of living. I still don’t even feel like it actually happened. All these among other things that have gotten me closer to achieving my dreams.

A huge thing is that If I had never been a fan of this band, I would have never become friends with Ally. If it wasn’t for Ally, I would not known about the awesome audio program at the Art Institute of San Diego, and would probably be going somewhere in Austin instead. Becca and I have had this dream of living in San Diego for a couple years now. I still have to get more credits at Weatherford before I can transfer, but it’s still happening at some point, and I’m super stoked about it.

I would have never met a lot of people who have inspired me to keep working hard for my dreams, even when so many people tell me I’ll never make it. Sometimes I just want to give up, but these people, my biggest inspirations, that I look up to so much believe in me, and keep me thinking positive.

I don’t listen to that band so much anymore, or even really pay attention to what they’re up to, but I owe them so much. They are amazing, and inspiring, and they have worked so hard to get where they’re at. This whole post probably sounds stupid, but I really have no idea where I would be without them. Judge me all you want. I wish them the best, and hope to see them on the road sometime in the future.

Stay sassy ;)

So, I was like “I’m done with band boys, they’re too much to deal with, and they’re nothing but trouble!”

And then the guy I’m talking to, who’s basically perfect, goes and starts a band.

I can’t win.

• It’s really cool to be able to talk to sound engineers, because they get me. Most of the time when people ask me what I’m majoring in and I tell them, they’re like “Oh that’s cool”, but I can tell that they actually think it’s stupid.
• Does Proactiv bleach anyone elses eyebrows, or is that just my unfortunate self?
• I abhor the word ‘screamo’.
• This lady came into my work the other day and she looks at me and goes “Oh, well aren’t you CUTE!” and she was asking me about my lipstick. My first thought was that it was one of those Havent-Seen-You-Since-You-Were-A-Baby things, but it wasn’t. She was just an overly friendly person. I will never get used to living here.
• I’m starting to care less and less what people think of me, and I just do/say/wear whatever the hell I want. It’s super awesome, you should try it.
• I have a lot of really sucky ‘friends’. Fuck you guys.

• I really want tattoos.
• I feel like I’m getting better at writing. I think the song I wrote Becca is pretty alright. I need to learn guitar or something.
• I am so clueless when it comes to guys. Over thinking what they say/do will be the death of me.
• So many fall tours are coming through town. A lot are on the same day/days that I work, so I’m gonna miss quite a few of them. Fan kid problems.
• I actually don’t know where ‘home’ is anymore. I don’t feel at home in Texas, or Nevada. Or anywhere else for that matter. I don’t even know what I’m saying, I’m stupid.
• He probably hates me.

Becca and I were driving down the road, and I was dancing and singing, when I noticed this guy looking at me in his rear view mirror. I started singing to him and blew him a kiss and him and his friend were laughing at me.
This went on for a while, and at some point we passed them and I looked behind us and they blew me kisses and made hearts with their hands and were laughing, so i started singing to them again.
Then when we got to the house we were getting out of the car, and those boys drove past and I thought they were following us, but then they pulled into a driveway a little bit down the street.
Awkward.

•I hate when people describe music artists as ‘edgy’.
•I think it’s funny when photographers are like ‘I shot so-and-so’ or ‘I’m excited to be shooting you today’ because my first thought is like, shooting with a gun and it sounds bad lol.
•Watching Americas Next Top Model stresses me out. Then when my favorite person is in the bottom two I start panicking inside. And when my favorite gets eliminated it makes me want to cry. What am I doing with my life?
•I still think its crazy when people tell me I remind them of Lights. I don’t see it, but so many times, people tell me ‘I saw a picture of lights, and thought she was you at first’. Lights is my girl crush, okay omg~ Why does Andrew think she’s ugly.
•Sometimes his (not Andrew) Facebook statuses make me want to punch myself in the face, because I hate that he feels like that and I wanna be like hey hi hello love me, except I live in dumb Texas. The last long distance relationship I was in failed epically. Sorry Momo :(

Bianca sent me this picture yesterday. We hung out a couple days ago and she now likes to call me pop punk princess haha.
We went to make my tattoo appointment (which I had to cancel because dumb) and then we went exploring in downtown Reno. We went to this cool bookstore, and then to the river. We sang and danced and then went to Java Jungle and got italian sodas. On the way back to the car, I saw the ‘before I die…’ thing and was like ‘oh my god I see those on tumblr all the time!’ so we wrote on it lol. Bianca wrote that she wanted to do a European guy and to travel to India. I wrote tour the world with a rock band and something else that, as of Tuesday, I take back lolol.
Then there was this person who told us to call them ‘T’ and to ‘Holla’ at them if we ever saw them on the street. Then we got lost and almost died the end.

When I lived in Reno, The Knitting Factory was like my home away from home. Yesterday, Maya and I went there to see Reel Big Fish.
We missed the first two bands though, because I got lost downtown and got into a car accident and then I was really late picking Maya up. When we got there, I saw Allen Lewis from Wayward and he recognized me, which was cool because I’ve been gone for a long time haha. And I got to see Jennifer, and Ali and Sally.
I was in a rush when I got home from the accident, so I forgot to change my shoes. DO NOT wear flip flops to shows. It’s really hard to skank in flip flops, and the fact that the floor was covered in beer didn’t help. My toes were cramped up from trying to keep my shoes on. Everyone was so nice though, I was slipping on the beer and the guy behind me kept making sure I didn’t fall. And whenever we’d get sucked into a pit, someone would help us out. And then there was this lady who pulled us both up to the barricade and it was awesome.
Ska shows are, by far, the most fun to go to. PCD so bad right now…

Our flight was delayed, so we didn’t make our connection flight in Vegas. At first we thought we only had a half hour wait in Vegas for the other flight, and then we remembered time zones and we were stuck there for like two and a half hours. When we were flying into Reno, I saw the down town area and almost started to cry. It is SO brown and dry here, I feel like I’m breathing in sand.
Noole told me that they were going bowling at the GSR around 8:30, so that’s the first thing I did when I got here. The shenanigans began when I couldn’t get my car to start, and my brother had to help me. I drove the car around the block a couple times to make sure I could still do it, and headed off to the GSR. I stopped at Walmart first to pick up a couple things, and when I got back to the car, it wouldn’t start again so I called my brother to ask what I was doing wrong. He couldn’t figure it out either and ended up meeting me there to push the car to get it started and gave me jumper cables just in case.
Then on my way, I accidentally turned a street too early. I started getting nervous because I was lost, it was getting dark, and I was somewhere in the ghetto. The engine stalled at a stop light and once again, I couldn’t get it to start. I tried to push it and start it by myself like Taylor did, but I have skinny little chicken legs, so that didn’t work out too well. Then this lady, who I’m pretty sure was a prostitute, knocked on the passenger window and I got scared and locked the doors. She was saying something to me and I was like ‘what?’ and she’s like ‘roll down your window’. She looked harmless enough, so I did. She told me to put it in first gear, hold the clutch down, and to ‘pop it’ when she said to (what?), and that she was gonna push the car. Then this kinda scary gangster looking dude came over and was like ‘you guys need help’ and Im like omg fml. They started pushing the car and the lady goes ‘POP IT POP IT’ and I’m like ‘WHAT DOES THAT MEAN??’ and they were like ‘GAS HIT THE GAS’ and I did and I’m lucky there was no one else in the intersection. After I got going, I felt better until I remembered I had no idea where to go, and the fact that it was dark didn’t help at all.
With a shit ton of luck, i finally got to the GSR, and while I was looking for a parking spot, it stalled again, and (big shocker) it wouldn’t start. No one was answering their phones, and I started to freak out a bit because I had no idea what to do. The only one that answered was Andrew and he didn’t know what to do either, so I ended up pushing the car down the road until I found an empty spot. I had to take my flip flops off because they kept slipping, so i was walking barefoot and it was disgusting. While I was pushing the car into said spot, it started rolling towards this truck and I was like ‘NONONONO!!’ and ran to the other side to push it away from the truck.
I walked into the GSR and I’m like fuck where is the bowling alley why am I always lost. I eventually found it, and when I walked in, I saw Daisy and she’s like ‘is that is that…’ and we were like ‘OH MY GOD’ and we ran and hugged and I started crying and telling her what happened and then Kayla came over and hugged me, and Devon and Lucas were there, and their cute friend that kept talking to me and asked me for a hug and just okay~ and Javi and Gabe and Noole and their friends and it was happy. Then Taylor and his girlfriend came to rescue me again.
Later back at the house, I couldn’t open my body wash, so I used my teeth… And it exploded in my mouth.

My Dr. Pepper tasted like shit, I was pissed. Two more years…
I had fun though, we went to a comedy show in Dallas and then went to IHOP.
I have to get a boyfriend so brad will stop thinking I’m a lesbian. He kept saying something about finding me a girl and making lesbian jokes all night. No.

• I wish I was the singer of a pop-punk band and had fans that made me bracelets with my name on them and stuff.
• I was creeping facebook and saw that my friend is having a party that a few of my theatre friends will be at. Then I remembered that almost no one knows that I’ll be visiting. So I’m just gonna show up and surprise them.
• I have finally decided what I’m going to get for my first tattoo, and when I’m in Reno I’m going to go to Chris to get it done depending on how much $$$ it is. Since Ash is lame and bailed on me, I need to find someone else to hold my hand.
• I hate when someone makes a bad joke and then they try to make me look like an idiot when I say something about it. Stop trying to explain it to me. I got the joke, it was just fucking retarded, now shut up.
• If you want to be a stay at home mom, and cater to your husbands every need, and do whatever he tells you, and whatever else you consider ‘traditional’ ideas, then go ahead. That’s your deal. But don’t try to convince me that I’m wrong for wanting to be independent, and to be able to provide for myself, and for wanting to work hard and follow my dreams, and to want equality. I find it offensive that I’m told that I can’t do what I want because I’m a woman. I want to work in an industry where there isn’t a lot of women working, and I am told so many times that I can’t do that, I’ll never get anywhere because I’m a girl. But I want it more than anything, so fuck tradition, I’m out to prove the world wrong. I could do the job just as well, or better, than a man if I worked hard enough. My body parts have NOTHING to do with it.
• Trevor’s trying to trick me into telling him he’s cute. No.
  

I WENT TO THE ZOO TODAY. So. Much. Fun.

Today (okay well yesterday, since it’s 2am) was amazing. It’s still kind of hard to believe that Molly acknowledges my existence. She is probably the coolest person I’ve ever met, hahaha :)

I was watching Breathe Carolina, and Molly was there with John Becker. I told her that my mom had a cougar crush on John, and we were just talking and laughing and then we turned to watch the band. Then I was looking out into the crowd and thought ‘oh my god. I’m backstage at a show basically hanging out with my hero…’ and I’m such a dork, but it was the most unreal feeling.

Throughout the day, Jordan and I kept randomly looking at each other and going “Dude. Oh my god”. Even right now I just oh my god.

This post is not making sense. I’m going to sleep now, bye.